Did I really do that?
Hello there!
I’m new here, and I’m going to assume you are, too, so welcome! I’m not completely sure why you’re here, but again I will assume it’s because of a book. Maybe my book, which still feels really weird to say.
A year ago, I was a research scientist questioning all my life decisions. On paper and at the bench, it seemed like I had decided everything correctly. I had multiple projects, research publications, grants, a wonderful network of peers and colleagues, and most of all, a “bright future”. But like so many of us that endured the COVID-19 pandemic, I started to question aspects of my life that I had been too busy and too terrified to address before. And like so many of us, I became stuck in the mentality of “if I died tomorrow, would I be satisfied with how I lived?” Reflection, morbid or otherwise, is important for any person in any career, but it is especially important for us who rely so heavily on those in charge for validation. I escaped a traumatic childhood through sciences and arts, through academic performance and creative outlets. Science, I was told, was more likely to keep me from suffering again and so, I found my escape route. I found my validation. And yet, as I progressed through the ranks of my cherished scientific career, I always fell back to the arts. Painting, drawing, sculpting, writing—over the years, my coping mechanisms slowly became my passions. I started finding validation in my creations, rather than externally through my achievements. And over time, the demands of my scientific career crushed me. After fifteen years, I realized burnout was real. And it sucked.
We’re going to skip over the crappy parts of healing and jump to the part where I reassessed, and came back with a new goal. To be content with the life I’m living. And part of that contentment is sharing my stories with anyone who cares to listen. Hell, I could probably write an entire non-fiction series about the strains of being a female in STEM but for now, I’m sticking with fantasy and science fiction with a romantic flare. The Aether Awakens is my first book, written at a time when I questioned my own fate while discovering what true love really meant. Perhaps that’s giving away too much, both about the book and my personal life, but like I said, I’m new here. I have no idea really what to write about in a blog post. But I hope if you take anything away from my ramblings both here and in my book, you take away a simple message that life is never a straight path, and thats ok.
